VIDEO 1: The Next Level

What Got You Here Won’t Get You There

Leading teams has built in challenges that create the conditions for hard conversations. In this video we introduce the in-born challenges and the underlying skills that all leaders have to learn in order to perform at the next level.

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VIDEO 2: Rendering Reality

How to See Things More Clearly

Humans are incredibly limited by our five senses and have only partial access to the large range of reality out there. This is a major cause of all the wrinkles and challenges in hard conversations. In this video we become aware of the elaborate mechanisms by which we try to access reality and how they help and hurt.

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VIDEO 3: A Beginner’s Mind

How Hard Conversations Demand We Grow

How we show up in hard conversations reveals a lot about our level of development. These conversations also demand that we grow, if we’re going to get better. In this video we look at the underlying dynamics that govern our growth as well as how this helps our communications.

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The Beginner’s Mind Worksheet

VIDEO 4: The Unseen Self

Starting to See Our Blind Spots & Hidden Gifts

Most of our development as leaders is to cultivate greater degrees of self-awareness. We hide far more from ourselves than we realize. Our motivations, limitation, and desires are not always apparent, and this hiddenness can lead to problems when we enter hard conversations.

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The Unseen Self Worksheet

VIDEO 5: Conversation Styles

What is Your Tendency in Hard Conversations

When it comes to hard conversations some of us are glad to avoid them while others are more eager to rush in. In this video we map out your particular tendencies that may keep you stuck in familiar patterns that prevent you from getting better results.

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Conversational Styles Worksheet

VIDEO 6: Missing Conversations

Identifying the Problem To Work Through

In this video I introduce the story of one of my hard conversations that went horribly wrong. We use this story throughout the rest of the videos as a kind of case study. You are invited to find your own story to workshop.

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Missing Conversation Worksheet

VIDEO 7: The Mind Garden

How To Create Better Thinking Habits

We all have three different centers of intelligence, the first is the mind. Our thought life has an incredibly powerful affect on how we have hard conversations. In this video we explore the power of cultivating better thought habits.

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Mind Garden Worksheet

VIDEO 8: Inside Out

Learning to See The Hidden Conversation

In many ways in any conversation there are at least two happening simultaneously. There is the conversation we can see and hear, and the one that happens below the surface. This is found in our feelings. In this video we explore how feelings function in our hard conversations.

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Inside Out Worksheet

VIDEO 9: Tripwires

Identifying Your Emotional Triggers

All of us have vulnerabilities and values that when stepped on function like a tripwire that detonates our emotional reactions. In this video we explore the tripwires that trigger us in our relationships. By mapping these you can navigate conversations with greater calm.

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Tripwires Worksheet

VIDEO 10: Set Your Compass

Knowing What You Want

Often overlooked in any conversation is the question: Why do you want to have this conversation? What is your greater hope or intention. In this video we explore different ways to surface and connect with our hoped for outcomes.

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Set Your Compass Worksheet

VIDEO 11: The Awareness Elevator

Bringing all the Pieces Together

In this video we bring all the elements we’ve explored till this point together. This is a cheatsheet for hard conversations. We can elevate our self-awareness, and our capacity to walk in the other person’s shoes.

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VIDEO 12: Boundaries

Creating the Context for Constructive Conversations

If you try to bake a cake without an oven, you will be missing the critical container that makes it possible. Hard conversations require smart boundaries like a cake needs an oven. In this video we outline the critical boundaries in our communication.

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VIDEO 13: Two Wolves

Planning and Having the Conversation

We have the power to evoke the best and the worst in ourselves and others. Depending on which we choose determines the outcome. In this video we walk through exactly how to prepare for and have a hard conversation.

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Two Wolves Worksheet